The Battle of Basingstoke, including its cause and effect.
It all started at a cocktail party held at Maidenhead Unit to celebrate the new District Officer. Little did this naive man know that one of the foremost units in his district was a place of misery, cruelty, horror and injustice.
The party was pleasant with good conversation amongst all the visitors. The good staff ofBasingstokewere polite and diplomatic enough not to mention the indication that not all was right. Of note was the solitary duck - ignored and what looked like, confinement. Isolated. Whisperings amongst the good knights ofBasingstoke, shhh, its been seen, don’t bring attention to ourselves, we’ll talk later of what needs to be done. Justice will prevail.
The good knights and their senior squires sat at the round table of justice, deliberating and came up with a meticulous plan to bring the Duck back to civilisation and granting him the freedoms as was his right.
And so it happened with the plan going into action of D(duck) Day the 14 Oct 2012. A day that will pass into the collective memory of the good folk ofBasingstoke– Duck Liberation Day.
Under the cover of Trafalgar day celebrations, a small commando of elite cadets under the inpired leadership of Petty Officers Stainers and Miles, infiltrated Maidenhead Unit. By ruse and cunning with many distractions set, PO Miles rescued Nelson the duck from his captivity and slavery and under the noses of the Maidenhead guards walked out with Nelson tucked safely about her person.
Freedom at last!
Nelson was free at last and feted by the good people ofBasingstoke. However the “paparazzi” wanted interviews and photographs of him all the time (remember when they caught up with him in the loo).
Nelson, now recovered from his ordeal of captivity and injustice was ready to talk to us about the dark deeds happening beside theThames.
Nelson started to describe how the children and ducks of theThamesValleywould be caught and enslaved by the wicked witches and warlocks near Boulters Lock and trapped with fear and awe. He was speaking frankly and freely until one evening a solitary Junior Witch came toBasingstokeunder the pretext of collecting one of our Cadets. If we knew then what we know now we would never have allowed one of our squires fall under such dark influences. Thankfully our cadet was too strong even for them and resisted all attempts to subvert her to the dark life of drill and endless marching. She escaped and came home safely.
The presence of the Witch inBasingstokepanicked Nelson so he hid under the coat of one of the knights, and the ordeal so frightened him that he could not speak as openly about the horrors of Taplow road. The Knights, squires and Cadets of Basingstoke understood his fears and he became more treasured because of it.
Then the attack came, an evening that will go down in infamy. The dark lady of Maidenhead gathered the dark forces around her, and powers too wicked to mention struck the innocents and White Knights of Harlech – direct descendents of Henry VIII elite corps of Mariners with all their history of valour and honour.
The cowardly attack came at 1935 hr and like creatures of the night they flew into the fortressof Harlech, creating fear before them. They saw their quarry but our brave knights forged a ring of human steel around Nelson. Our Knights being honourable could not, under their vows, strike back , but the blackness of the enemy overcame them and they were able to capture Nelson. A swift recovery and counterattack was met with such a ferocity from the Dark Lady herself. Our defences were hurt and knowing that adding more force to the defence would only provoke more evil from the intruders, it was decided to relinquish Nelson to the dark in order to protect the majority of innocents ofBasingstoke.
While tending to our wounded, an inhuman shriek of pain arose from good squires and cadets ofBasingstoke.
“They have captured Mary-Rose, the best teddy in the Corps”
Now we knew we had two wounded souls in the hands of the dark lady and our only consolation was that they support each other. The defiant Knights of Basingstoke beseeched the Dark Lady to hold her captives safe.
A council of war ensued, each Knight, squire and cadet swearing that whatever evils befell Mary-Rose, we would repay tenfold and that it was our sacred duty to rescue her and all such mascots ensconced in captivity wherever they be, in the name of Liberty, Equality, Truth, Justice and the Basingstoke way of life.
PO Bruce Wake, Knight Commander Grand Order ofHarlechCastle
A/C Martin Smith in action with the Sea Cadet Band at the national Trafalgar Day Parade in London. Very well done to Martin for representing the unit & National Sea Cadets.
